Too lazy to go to Etsy? You can check out a breakdown of them here:
Starla: With hair as red as the tip of her stogie, Starla is a quick-witted bar wench with a mouth like a longshoreman but a heart of gold. Perfect for the impertinent lady in your life.
Brain Drain (or, the Skull of JFK): A studly skull with a Kennedy coif and a surprisingly happy smile, the back of this ornament is its crowning glory. With an exposed brain, this creepy, possibly-in-the-middle-of-an-autopsy dude is great for those with a morbid sense of humor.
Dapper Darvin: A purple walrus with dreams of grandeur, Darvin is dressed for a night at the opera or a stroll through the promenade with his antique walking cane and very fashionable monocle. A good-natured fellow with 3D tusks, he’s a heartwarming present for anyone who needs a little smile.
Arlo the One-Eyed Minnow: He may look haggard, but this minnow is sweet as a guppy. A mama’s boy to boot, he has a small red heart tattoo emblazed with “Ma” as an homage for the woman who raised him. Sure, he’s a little beat up, but what woman doesn’t like a man with scars? An eyepatch and a stasch(e).-approved mustache will make this cold-blooded aquatic vertebrate warm your heart.
Be Better: To the point, this playful and pretty ornament is ideal for the underachiever you love, or for anyone who could use a polite nudge in the right direction. The “BE” was loving pressed with letter stamps and gives a nice texture to this piece. A little block of encouragement.
Spade Fleur: A delicate design originated by one of stasch(e).’s founders, it’s a bold and colorful burst of happiness. Brighten up your everyday décor with this signature piece.
D.O.A.: “Romance is Mort.” For the pessimist in your life or for someone who keeps getting crapped on by love, this ornament is an homage to bad dates, rude dudes, and the single lifestyle. We were inspired by some of the men who have come into our lives and made us cringe; we were wrong – you were good for something.
Wee Tweeter: A precious magpie holds in its beak an ornament to celebrate the season. Trimmed in a matching blue ribbon, it’s a sweet touch for anyone who needs a little joy in their holiday.
Pretty Pawn: Chess player in your life? This colorful bit of joy is wonderful even for those who don’t know a B7 from a G2.
Big Red: A ginger mustache with impish curls is sure to please anyone this holiday season. Done up in reds on an carrot-juice colored background, why not buy this for the facial aficionado you’re so desperate to please?
Roy Realman: If you dig blue-collar men with hearts of gold, you’ll love Roy Realman and his burly work shirt. Possibly a gas station attendant, possibly a janitor, or possibly both, Roy Realman boasts a fetching blue garment with a bit of a belly to boot. But that’s why he’s a Realman. If you need to get something for your plumber, this may be it.
Tre Bien: Got a Francophile who’s hard to shop for? Try a handpainted ornament with a beret and “Tre Bien” scrawled across to let them know how truly great you think they are. With a bright green base, it’s a cheery reminder that everything is, indeed, very good.
Peaceful Paul: Let’s get together and feel alright with this hippie hombre; dressed in a striking pink poet’s shirt, his tie-dye is a handpainted wonder that accentuates his happy, laid-back demeanor. With cascades of brown hair and a little chest stubble, he’s a far-out man for the granola-eater in your life.
Stormy Weather: Ever had one of those days? Here’s an ornament to make you – or the one you love – to make you smile through the drama. Great for those who are going through a divorce, are prone to speeding tickets, or who just seem to attract the crazies.
Pearl: The most outgoing of the mermaid ornaments offered here at stasch(e)., Pearl is painted in a variety of greens and purples, done up for whatever the night has to offer. She sports a heart tattoo with the letter “S” for who knows what suitor, or maybe just for “single.” Pearl never tells.
Celeste: Don't let the silver hair fool you - Celeste is a handful. Handpainted in blues and purples, she's a cool addition to your holiday ornaments or if your everyday decor could use a touch of whimsy.
And the piece de resistance:
V for Dentata.
Fashioned after the myth of the vagina dentata (Latin for "toothed vagina"), this ferocious ornament is the perfect conversation piece for your favorite femme, those boring holiday parties, or as the showpiece for your own Christmas tree. A one-of-a-kind fashioned with 3D teeth and a happy button, it's as close as one can come to anatomical correctness with a lump of clay and a dream.
Tilly: Taking a break from swimming the deep seas to flaunt what Neptune gave her in a sassy tubetop, Tilly is quite a catch. With her textured fish tail and purple sash, this is one lady you'll want leaning on your Blue Spruce.
Stimulamo: This ornament is a triple threat: colorful, direct, and makes men blush. A small but mighty 3D love button sends a powerful message to its recipient, and may be the easiest way a man ever finds it.
And the piece de resistance:
Fashioned after the myth of the vagina dentata (Latin for "toothed vagina"), this ferocious ornament is the perfect conversation piece for your favorite femme, those boring holiday parties, or as the showpiece for your own Christmas tree. A one-of-a-kind fashioned with 3D teeth and a happy button, it's as close as one can come to anatomical correctness with a lump of clay and a dream.
